From Performer to Connector: Kenny’s StorySelling Transformation
Public speaking anxiety gets all the airtime.
We talk about the sweaty palms, the blank stares, the I’d-rather-die-than-present dread. But there’s a whole other group of professionals who fly under the radar.
They’re not scared to speak.
In fact, they’re the ones who:
- Can walk into a room and talk off the cuff
- Lead meetings and fill time with ease
- Sound polished — even when they haven't prepped
But here’s the problem:
They’re performing, not connecting.
That’s where the real speaking gap begins — and that’s exactly where Kenny found himself.
The Problem: Confident, But Disconnected
Kenny had presence.
With an 18 year active military service background, 22 years of leadership experience, and a commanding voice, he was no stranger to the stage. But when invited to deliver a ten-minute talk at a Women in Leadership summit, something shifted.
This wasn’t just another speaking gig.
He was one of only a few men in a room full of over 200 female leaders — and his usual speaking style felt out of place. Structured. Masculine. Potentially… disconnected.
He wasn’t scared of speaking.
He was scared of missing the moment.
“Can I tell a story that connects — without coming off as arrogant, disconnected, or mansplaining?”
The Pain: The Hidden Pressure of Presence
Kenny felt the pressure of representation.
His story — rooted in generational military service, culture, and masculine performance — carried weight. And now, he was being asked to share that story with people who may not share that context.
He feared being misunderstood.
Feared reinforcing stereotypes.
Feared doing more harm than good.
This wasn’t about performance — it was about precision. He wanted to connect across gender, culture, and context… without losing the soul of his story.
“I knew my voice sounded a certain way. I look a certain way. If I mess this up, it doesn’t just reflect on me — it reflects on the people I represent.”
The Solution: Letting Go of Performance
In private coaching, we stripped the story back to what mattered.
Kenny didn’t need a new story. He needed a new lens.
We worked on:
- Sharpening the message
- Replacing facts with feeling
- Using emotional detail, not over explaining
- Slowing down for resonance
- Trusting that vulnerability wouldn't weaken the message — it would deepen it
“It wasn’t about changing my story. It was about telling it with more intention — so people could see themselves in it, not just me.”
The Outcome: Five Minutes That Landed
Kenny’s talk became one of the most memorable moments of the summit.
Attendees mentioned him by name in the feedback.
Dozens came up to him afterward — not to talk about his military background, but to share their own stories.
His five minutes didn’t showcase his authority.
They showcased his humanity.
“Kenny knows how to talk to women,” said the organiser — not because he diluted his message, but because he delivered it with intention, precision, and respect .
And perhaps the most powerful reflection:
“I realised the military part was irrelevant. What resonated was the pressure, the identity,the courage to break free from the story you were told to live — and step into the one that actually fits you.”
The Action: Storytelling as Strategy
Since that day, Kenny has embraced storytelling not just as a speaker — but as a leadership tool.
He’s:
- Building out his keynote speaking brand
- Pursuing high-impact speaking opportunities
- Helping others navigate the tension between confidence and connection
- Leaning into emotional clarity over intellectual control
“I used to think I didn’t need help with public speaking. But I learned that being confident isn’t enough. Precision, emotional clarity, and timing — that’s what makes it land.”
5 Key Lessons from Kenny’s Journey
- Confidence doesn't always equal connection.
- Precision is more powerful than performance.
- Vulnerability isn't weakness — it's resonance.
- Five minutes is enough to change a room.
- The story you tell yourself shapes the story others hear.
🎤 Want to Connect Like Kenny?
If you’re already confident — but want to lead with more humanity, precision, and presence— private coaching is where we do the deep work.
Learn more at: https://www.michaelphilpott.co.nz/
