“I’ve been told I need to work on my executive presence.”
When I hear that, I usually laugh. Not because the person saying it is wrong, but because the phrase itself is almost meaningless.
It sounds important.
It sounds senior.
It sounds like feedback.
But in practice, it tells people absolutely nothing.
Over the past 50 plus follow-up coaching calls with senior leaders and high performers, this phrase has come up again and again. Particularly in large, well-intentioned organisations. Especially in environments where risk, compliance, and professionalism matter.
And every time it comes up, the response is the same.
“What does that even mean?”
The problem with vague feedback
“Work on your executive presence” sits in the same category as:
“You need more confidence.”
“You didn’t quite land it.”
“You need to be a bit stronger in the room.”
These statements feel helpful to the person giving them. They feel safe. They feel non-confrontational.
But to the person receiving them, they create confusion.
High performers do not struggle because they lack effort. They struggle when they lack clarity. When feedback is vague, people do not know what to change, so they internalise the message instead.
Something is wrong.
I just don’t know what.
That is how confidence erosion actually happens.
Not through hard feedback.
Through unclear feedback.
What leaders are really afraid of
In my experience, vague feedback is rarely about laziness. It is about fear.
Fear of being wrong.
Fear of damaging the relationship.
Fear of saying something that cannot be taken back.
Fear of stepping into emotional territory.
Specific feedback requires commitment. If I name a behaviour, I am taking responsibility for that observation. I am open to being challenged on it. I am accountable for the impact of my words.
Vague feedback avoids that responsibility.
“Executive presence” sounds polished, but it allows leaders to stay abstract. It protects them from discomfort while placing the burden of interpretation on the other person.
The irony is that this avoidance does more harm than honesty ever would.
Executive presence is not a trait
This is the core misunderstanding.
Executive presence is not a personality type.
It is not something you either have or do not have.
It is not confidence, charisma, or authority rolled into one.
Executive presence is a collection of observable behaviours.
How someone structures their message.
How their voice rises or drops under pressure.
How clearly they signal intent.
How they manage pace, certainty, and silence.
How they enter and hold a room.
These things can be seen.
They can be named.
They can be coached.
But only if someone is willing to point to them directly.
Why vague feedback feels safer than clarity
Many leaders confuse clarity with harshness.
They worry that being specific will feel personal.
They worry it will demotivate.
They worry it will cross a line.
So instead, they soften the message until it becomes unusable.
What they miss is this:
Specific feedback does not attack identity.
Vague feedback quietly undermines it.
When someone is told, “You need more executive presence,” they are left guessing whether the issue is their voice, their body language, their thinking, or who they are as a person.
That uncertainty is far more destabilising than hearing the truth.
What effective feedback actually sounds like
When I work with leaders and executives, I am very direct. Always respectful. Always human. But never vague.
I do not say, “You lack presence.”
I say things like:
“When you drop your voice at the end of sentences, people interpret uncertainty.”
“When your structure is loose, the room stops following you.”
“When you hesitate before making your point, the message loses authority.”
This is not judgement.
It is observation.
From there, self-realisation does the heavy lifting.
People do not argue with what they can see. They adjust.
Self-realisation is powerful, but it does not happen in a vacuum. Someone has to lead people to the insight.
That is the role of leadership.
The real cost of not being specific
When leaders avoid clarity, three things happen.
High performers second-guess themselves.
Development stalls.
Confidence quietly leaks away.
People start working harder without getting better. They try to fix everything and change nothing.
And leaders walk away believing they have given feedback, when in reality they have outsourced uncertainty.
A challenge for leaders
If you cannot name the behaviour, you are not giving feedback.
You are giving someone a label and asking them to figure it out alone.
Executive presence is not developed through vague suggestions.
It is built through clear observation, honest conversation, and precise adjustment.
Clarity does not damage confidence.
It creates it.
