Public Speaking Can Feel Like a Special Kind of Stress
Public speaking can feel like a special kind of stress. Not because you are incapable, but because the stakes feel personal. People worry they will sound awkward, run out of time, lose their place, or look foolish in front of others.
In this interview with Gemma Ross from SpinachTV, I unpack five common mistakes that quietly sabotage otherwise capable professionals. They are simple mistakes, but they have a huge impact on confidence, clarity and audience engagement.
The good news is that every one of them can be fixed.
A Quick Note Before We Begin
This interview was originally recorded with Gemma Ross for SpinachTV in early 2023. While organising some of my older content, I watched it back and was pleasantly surprised by how relevant the advice still feels today.
Since recording this interview, I’ve had the privilege of coaching many more CEOs, founders, executive teams and keynote speakers across New Zealand and internationally. My work has continued to evolve, particularly around charismatic leadership, executive presence and neuro-inclusive communication. Despite that evolution, the five mistakes discussed below are still the same five issues I see every week.
Artificial Intelligence can now help people write presentations in minutes. What it cannot do is build trust, create genuine connection or command a room. Those skills are still deeply human.
I hope you find something useful in both this article and the interview.
The 5 Mistakes That Create Anxiety and Messy Delivery
1. Procrastinating Preparation
The first mistake is the most human one.
People avoid preparing because preparing forces them to confront the discomfort early.
You get told, “You’re presenting in two months,” and your brain immediately decides there are more urgent things to do. So you focus on work, family and everything else until the presentation becomes an emergency.
Then comes the late-night panic.
One thing I’ve learnt after coaching hundreds of speakers is that confidence rarely appears by accident. Confidence comes from reducing uncertainty, and preparation is how you do that.
Fix
Start earlier than feels necessary.
My goal with coaching clients is to have them feeling stage-ready at least two weeks before they deliver their presentation. The remaining time becomes refinement rather than survival.
2. Refusing to Write a Script
One of the biggest myths in public speaking is that writing a script makes you sound robotic.
The opposite is usually true.
A script is not a cage.
A script creates clarity.
It forces you to organise your thinking, remove unnecessary ideas and stop speaking in circles.
People often tell me they want to “just speak naturally.”
What they don’t realise is that the speakers they admire have usually refined those ideas over dozens, sometimes hundreds, of presentations.
Natural delivery is often well-practised delivery.
Fix
Write the first version.
Then edit it.
Then practise it until it feels like your own conversation rather than something you’ve memorised.
3. Not Timing Your Talk
If you don’t script your presentation, you can’t accurately time it.
If you can’t accurately time it, you create problems for everyone else involved in the event.
A presentation slot is a commitment.
Ten minutes means ten minutes.
I’ve seen speakers run so far over time that entire conferences had to reshuffle breaks, move other presenters and cut audience interaction.
It was completely avoidable.
Fix
Read your script out loud with a timer running.
Don’t estimate.
Know.
Your phone is all you need.
4. Using Slide Decks That Are Basically an Email
This is one of my biggest frustrations.
When people procrastinate, don’t script and don’t time their talk, the slide deck becomes their safety blanket.
So they fill it with words.
Unfortunately, audiences read much faster than speakers talk.
The average person reads around 400 words per minute.
Most speakers speak at around 150 words per minute.
Your audience has already finished reading while you’re still speaking.
Now they’re faced with a choice.
Do they keep reading?
Or do they listen to you?
When audiences have to choose, they often disengage completely.
Fix
Slides should support your message, not replace it.
If the information belongs in a document, make it a document.
Your slides should help your audience remember your message, not compete with it.
5. Not Practising Your Delivery
This is where information becomes influence.
You can’t practise pauses, vocal variety, gestures or audience connection if you’re changing your words every time you rehearse.
And you can’t fully connect with an audience if you’re constantly wondering what comes next.
I often tell coaching clients that preparation creates freedom.
The better you know your material, the more attention you can give to the people sitting in front of you.
Fix
Practise after you’ve refined the content.
Then focus on delivery.
That is where confidence starts looking effortless.
The Truth About Speakers Who Look “Effortless”
People often assume confident speakers are simply gifted.
In reality, they have usually refined the same ideas repeatedly.
The reason experienced speakers appear relaxed is because they know exactly where they’re going.
Preparation creates freedom.
When you know your material well enough, you stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about your audience.
That shift changes everything.
The Four Main Types of Speaking
One mistake I often see is treating every presentation as though it’s the same.
It isn’t.
Different situations require different approaches.
The four main areas I coach are:
- Inspirational and educational speaking
- Sales presentations
- Technical presentations
- Investment pitching
Each requires a different balance of structure, emotion and persuasion.
One question I always encourage people to ask event organisers is:
“What do you want the audience to be able to do by the end of my presentation?”
That single question immediately narrows the focus and makes building a presentation much easier.
Liking, Trust and Respect Come Before Influence
One of the most important ideas in the interview comes from behavioural research.
People make remarkably fast judgements.
If an audience feels safe with you, they’re more likely to look for reasons to trust what you’re saying.
If they don’t, they’ll often look for reasons to dismiss you.
That’s why trying to establish authority too early can backfire.
Authority matters.
But connection comes first.
Build liking.
Build trust.
Earn respect.
Only then should you ask people to follow your ideas.
A Simple Upgrade to Audience Q&A
Here’s a practical tip that works surprisingly well.
Instead of immediately asking, “Any questions?”, give people thirty seconds to turn to the person beside them and discuss what stood out.
That tiny conversation gives people time to organise their thinking and build confidence before asking a question publicly.
I’ve used this approach in conferences and corporate events, and the quality of questions improves dramatically.
Neuro-Inclusive Speaking and the Goldilocks Zone
This is an area that has become increasingly important in my coaching.
People process information differently.
Some audiences prefer calm, structured communication.
Others respond to movement, energy and variation.
The goal isn’t to choose one style over the other.
It’s to find the middle ground.
I often describe it as the Goldilocks zone.
As speakers, our job isn’t simply to communicate the way we prefer.
Our job is to communicate in a way that helps our audience understand, engage and remember.
That means thinking beyond ourselves.
It means adapting our communication to meet the needs of the people in the room.
Final Thoughts
Three and a half years after recording this interview, I still find myself having exactly the same conversations with leaders preparing for important presentations.
The technology has changed.
Communication hasn’t.
Great speakers still prepare.
They still simplify.
They still practise.
Most importantly, they focus less on impressing an audience and more on serving one.
If you have an important presentation, keynote, investment pitch or leadership talk coming up, I hope these ideas help you avoid the mistakes I see every week and give you greater confidence when it matters most.
Watch the Full SpinachTV Interview
This article is based on my conversation with Gemma Ross from SpinachTV.
If you’d like to watch the complete interview, you can do so below.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’d like to become a more confident, engaging and influential communicator, here are a few ways I can help:
- Take the What Kind of Speaker Are You? assessment.
- Explore the StorySelling Workshop.
- Learn more about 1:1 Executive Speaker Coaching.
- Access my Online Learning Programme.
Whether you’re presenting in the boardroom, on stage or in front of a camera, the principles remain the same.
Prepare well.
Speak with clarity.
Connect with people.
Everything else follows.
