Recently, I was on stage with Jack Tame when he asked me a deceptively simple question:
“What would be your advice on getting better at identifying a customer’s problem?”
It sounds straightforward.
It isn’t.
Because for 11 years, I thought I knew what my customer’s problem was.
And I was wrong.
The Problem I Thought I Was Solving
For years, I believed the problem was fear.
You’ve probably heard the stat.
People fear public speaking more than death.
So I built messaging around that idea.
Fear of speaking.
Fear of standing up.
Fear of the spotlight.
It made sense.
Until I started listening more carefully.
The Moment It Changed
The shift didn’t happen in a workshop.
It happened during our 30-minute complimentary follow-up coaching calls.
After running workshops, I began jumping on these short calls with participants to see what had stuck and what hadn’t.
And over time, something became obvious.
No one at executive level was talking about fear.
They weren’t saying, “I’m terrified.”
They were saying:
“We need help with this.”
“We’re not landing the message.”
“Our presentations aren’t strong enough.”
“Our board updates feel clunky.”
“Our people don’t know how to structure their thinking.”
It wasn’t fear.
It was skill.
There was a lack.
A lack of structure.
A lack of clarity.
A lack of understanding around how to design and deliver effectively.
That was the real problem.
And once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.
Surface Problem vs Root Problem
Fear was the symptom.
Skill deficiency was the cause.
When you misdiagnose the problem, your marketing creates resistance.
If I tell a room full of senior leaders, “You’re scared of speaking,” many will immediately reject it.
Not because they’re defensive.
But because it’s inaccurate.
However, if I say, “You’ve never been shown how to design and deliver strategically,” heads start nodding.
You can feel the difference in the room.
You’ll know you’ve hit the right problem when people say, “Yes. That’s exactly it.”
That resonance is everything.
How I Now Identify the Real Problem
Those follow-up calls became my research lab.
Every time I asked:
“What is the problem you’re facing right now?”
I gathered data.
And patterns emerged.
When you consistently ask customers to articulate their problem and their pain, you build collective intelligence.
You stop guessing.
You start listening.
Now, when someone gets on a consult call with me, they often say:
“We need help with something.”
Not, “We’re scared.”
That tells me immediately that my messaging is aligned.
They already feel understood.
The sales conversation is faster.
Trust is higher.
Resistance is lower.
Because the problem has been named correctly.
The Clarification Process
Even now, I do not assume.
On consult calls I will say:
“That’s great that you want to fix this. Let me just check. What specifically is the problem you’re facing?”
Then I go deeper.
What is the pain that problem is creating?
What is it costing you?
What happens if nothing changes?
At the end of the conversation, I repeat it back to them.
“So the problem is X. The pain is Y. And the outcome you want is Z. Is that right?”
That confirmation is critical.
If you misidentify the problem at the start, everything that follows is built on the wrong foundation.
Why This Matters for Your Business
If you are a founder, consultant, or leader, this applies directly to you.
Many businesses sell what they built.
Very few take the time to repeatedly ask customers what the real problem is.
Make it part of your business strategy.
Ask it in consult calls.
Ask it in follow-up calls.
Look for it in testimonials.
Look for it in Google reviews.
When you get it right, the language becomes more precise.
Testimonials become specific.
Reviews reference transformation.
Prospects come to you already aligned.
At that point, you are not convincing.
You are confirming.
It took me 11 years to realise I was solving the wrong problem.
The day I shifted from fear to skill, everything sharpened.
Marketing improved.
Consult calls shortened.
Trust increased.
Outcomes improved.
Identifying the real problem is not a branding exercise.
It is a strategic discipline.
And when you get it right, your customers will tell you.
