There’s a moment in almost every follow-up coaching call where the energy shifts.
Someone who was confident in a workshop setting now seems hesitant. They’re unsure how they come across in meetings. They ask if they “sound too harsh,” or “too soft,” or whether they “need to be more commanding.” What they’re really asking is:
“Do I have executive presence?”
It’s one of the most sought-after yet misunderstood traits in modern leadership. And after more than 50 one-on-one follow-up coaching calls with leaders from billion-dollar companies, tech startups, councils, and government agencies, I’ve seen the patterns up close.
Let’s unpack what executive presence really is, what it’s not, and how you can build it with intention.
What Executive Presence Is
At its core, executive presence is how you make people feel in your presence.
It’s the confidence you exude when speaking.
The clarity of your ideas when pressure’s on.
The composure you hold when the room gets heated.
And the impact you leave behind after the meeting ends.
Most modern definitions echo these elements. According to Forbes and others:
Executive presence is your ability to inspire confidence — from those above you, beside you, and below you.
That confidence stems from three interconnected behaviours:
- Emotional Intelligence – Can you regulate your energy, read the room, and lead with calm authority?
- Relational Savvy – Can you hold connection and credibility at the same time?
- Context-Sensitive Presence – Can you shift your tone, energy, and approach to meet the moment?
That third one is something we talk a lot about in the workshop. It’s called requisite variety — the ability to choose from a range of behaviours rather than defaulting to one mode. Executive presence means you’ve got range. And you know when to use it.
What Executive Presence Isn’t
Let’s clear up the myths.
1. It’s not about being loud.
Some of the most powerful people I coach speak quietly — but they speak with weight.
2. It’s not charisma alone.
Charisma draws people in. Executive presence makes them trust your direction.
3. It’s not about ‘faking it till you make it.’
Pretending to be someone you’re not creates friction. It shows up in your tone, your posture, and the way people receive you.
4. It’s definitely not about being perfect.
Leaders with real presence own their imperfections. They know when to pause, reflect, and reset.
5. It’s not about looking the part.
No power suit in the world can save you if your message is unclear and your energy feels uncertain.
What I’ve Seen in 50+ Conversations
Let’s go beyond definitions.
Here’s what executive presence looks like in the wild - through five real coaching conversations.
The Operations Leader: From Standoffish to Steady
She worried she came across as cold. Her tone flattened under pressure. She didn’t mean to sound distant, she just hadn’t learned how to calibrate warmth with authority.
We worked on aligning intention with delivery, matching facial expression to message, and using her natural steadiness as a strength.
Executive presence, for her, wasn’t about being bubbly. It was about being congruent and consistent.
The Neurodivergent Strategist: Calm Is a Strength
She spoke slowly and deliberately. She worried people thought she lacked confidence.
But we reframed that calm delivery as her executive edge - the thing that gave her clarity when others spiralled.
She learned to anchor her ideas with structure and to lead with quiet conviction.
Confidence didn’t come from volume. It came from certainty.
The Quiet Team Lead: Passive? Not at All.
He was thoughtful, articulate, and respected by his team... but he faded in high-stakes meetings.
We focused on intentional stillness, breathing cadence, and how to land a point with presence.
He didn’t need to be louder.
He needed to learn how to take up space without taking over.
The Emerging Leader: Stop Hedging, Start Leading
He had strong ideas, but wrapped them in disclaimers.
“I’m not sure if this makes sense, but…”
“I could be wrong, but…”
We stripped it back to core messaging and built delivery around ownership, not apology.
Once he started landing his ideas with confidence, people leaned in... and followed.
The Overcommitted Project Manager: Don’t Rescue, Lead
She was juggling over 16 projects, constantly pulled into fixing other people’s problems.
We reframed her approach from rescuing to coaching.
Instead of giving answers, she learned to ask better questions:
→ “What have you tried so far?”
→ “What outcome are you hoping for?”
→ “What’s one step you could take next?”
That shift didn’t just protect her time. It grew her influence, and her executive presence.
Executive Presence = Performance, Not Pretending
Here’s the hard truth most people miss:
Executive presence isn’t pretending. It’s performance.
Not “performance” as in acting or faking, but performance as in bringing more of yourself into the room, with intention. It’s you… dialled up. You, matching the energy of the room. You, choosing clarity over comfort. You, with command in your posture and care in your tone.
In the StorySelling workshop, we break the day into three stages:
- It’s all about you. (Your limiting beliefs, fears, and habits)
- It’s not about you, it’s about your audience. (Their needs, desires, attention span)
- It’s not a presentation. It’s a performance. (You’re not just delivering content. You’re holding space.)
Executive presence is the outcome of mastering all three.
It’s a Skill. You Can Build It.
Every leader I’ve coached has developed executive presence in a different way.
Some found it through voice.
Some through structure.
Some by learning when not to speak.
But none of them were born with it.
They built it.
And you can, too.
Final Thought
If you want to elevate your influence, executive presence isn’t optional, it’s foundational.
It’s not about impressing people.
It’s about owning your message, aligning your energy, and knowing when to dial up the best version of yourself.
You don’t need to be someone else.
You just need to become more you... on purpose.
